“I don’t know what my grandma name should be,” my friend Barb said to me over coffee years ago.
Mind you, her daughter was only six months pregnant at that point, but Barb was about to be a grandma for the first time, and she was taking her new role seriously.
“You know,” I said—reasonably, I thought– “the kid won’t even be able to say your grandma name for a couple years from now.”
Two decades have passed, and Barb is now “Bobbie” and her husband is “Paw” to their seven grandchildren.
Back in the 50s, I don’t know if people fretted about this. It was “Grandma” and “Grandpa,” for the most part, or some version thereof, like “Gramps” or “Grandmother” or “Grammy” or “Gran.” Sometimes there was an added descriptor. My paternal grandparents were “Grandma and Grandpa Seilkop.” My maternal grandpa was “Grandpa Gil.” That was as mid-century modern as the nomenclature got.
But my maternal grandmother was not satisfied with such a common moniker. She gave herself the grandma name of “Mootsie.” I never knew another Mootsie, and I just checked: Google doesn’t know any “Mootsies” either.
One time I asked my mother, “Why do I call her ‘Mootsie’ instead of ‘Grandma’?” My mother rolled her eyes, her disdain for her mother apparent. “It’s because she thinks she’s too young to be a grandmother.”
Mootsie was in her early forties when she became a grandma, which wasn’t especially young for new grandparents in the 50s. I think Mootsie had other reasons for making up this nickname, but those reasons died with her in 1980.
Nowadays, “Grandma” and “Grandpa” are soooo yesterday, fading away like “Mrs.” and “stewardess” and “fingernails on a chalkboard.”
Some of my friends’ grandnames are cute, like Oma and Opa, Bon-Bon and Pappa John, and Gigi and Papa.
A couple months before my granddaughter was born, my daughter Stacey pushed me to choose a grandma name. I asked her why I had to decide now, why this was so pressing. Why not let the child come up with a name? “You know,” I said—reasonably, I thought– “the kid won’t even be able to say my grandma name for a couple years from now.”
Well, it turns out you have to come up with a reference point so you can say, for example, “We’re going to Nana’s,” or “Ask Gran for an expensive fill-in-the-blank,” or “I think Grammy’s had too much to drink to drive you to school.”
My husband came up with his grandpa name right away: “Pops.” This was a nickname Stacey came up with when she was a teenager and thought “Dad” was too childish or submissive or old school.
Hmmm. I loved the Norwegian name for a maternal grandma: Mormor,” pronounced “More More.” It means mother’s mother, but I like thinking it’s a mother, but so much more. The truth is, though, a grandma is so much less than a mother, and I know it’s best that I remember that.
Most of my friends are longtime grandparents, jealously guarding their own grandnames. But they 
had plenty of suggestions for my grandma name.
How about “Lolli”? Marybeth said. So Rick and I would be “LolliPops”? That’s cute. Kinda.
Another friend offered “Mops” to Rick’s “Pops”? Or “Mopsy” as in Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail. My daughter said if I didn’t hurry up and name myself, “Mopsy” was going to stick. Oh, dear.
I approached this self-naming in the same way I came up with my kids’ names.
- Something unique but not weird.
- Something distinguished but a little playful.
- Something that can be spelled and pronounced easily.
- Something that can’t be morphed into an insulting or obscene word by bullies.
- Something that is uniquely me.
“Gigi” appealed to me, and I was ready to close the deal on this name until I was informed that “Gigi” is short for Great-Grandmother.
Then I thought, why not Mootsie? I loved Mootsie, and the name’s unique, as Google proved.
I tried “Mootsie” out on my husband, and he gave me that look I give him that says, “You’re going to wear that?”
I tried out “Mootsie” on my daughter. Dead silence.
“Well, then, how about “Bootsie?” I said.
“As in Bootsie Collins?” my husband retorted.
So, I did what I do with most of my major decisions. I consulted books, the paper kind.
In What to Expect the First Year, I found the advice for baby-naming applicable to this grandma-naming business. The authors recommend a less common, less trendy, but not unheard-of name. They suggest you “go back to your roots.” Mootsie?
They caution that you “mean what you name, and name what you mean,” so I moved onto a google search of the meaning of the word “mootsie.”
The Urban Dictionary says “mootsie” is slang for “vagina” and “fart.” Well, that just won’t do.
I continued crowd-sourcing. I sought the advice of my stepmother, my neighbors, my dermatologist, my hairdresser, my mailman.
I asked my writer friends at my monthly retreat. They liked “Mootsie” and “Gigi,” but I could tell they thought I could do better. Like when I read them a first draft. Or a second.
Of the names they suggested, and there were many (some inspired by Shakespearean sonnets and 19th century novels), I liked “Lovey.” I want to be the grandma that is all about love. I want to be Diva Danielle’s Lovey, her loverly Lovey.
When I said it out loud, though, I couldn’t help speaking it with a British accent. And when “Lovey” morphed into “Loverly,” I took on an Aliza Doolittle Cockney inflection.
“ Libby,” offered my writing bud, Teri. “You know, like Libby the Librarian.”
So if I become the “Libby” of Team Libby and Pops, will Danielle ask her mom one day, “Why don’t I call her ‘Grandma?’”
I can see my daughter rolling her eyes, because she often does when it comes to my hairbrained ideas. I don’t think she’d tell Danielle, “She thinks she’s too young to be a grandma,” because that is absolutely not true. Danielle was so long-awaited that I almost aged out of “Grandma,” right into “Gigi.”
Stacey might tell Danielle, “Because she was a children’s librarian—you know, the ‘lib’ of “Libby—and she is always wanting to read to you. She started reading to you right after you were born. She has a whole library in her house just for you.”
And wouldn’t that be nice?
Or my daughter might tell Danielle, “Libby was born a long time ago, back when feminism was dawning. Your grandma was kind of a hippie. Maybe she didn’t even wear a bra, can you imagine? She was what they called a ‘women’s libber.’ You know, the ‘lib’ in ‘Libby’?”
And that would be groovy, too.
Call me Libby.
Unless one day Danielle looks up to me and says, “Hi, Bootsy,”
What did you call your grandparents? What do your grandkids call you?
Other posts about family:
Turtle Soup for Christmas?
Three Weddings: A Secret One, a Surprise One, a Long-Awaited One
Making Love: The Truth About a 44-Year Marriage
Role Reversal on a Trip With Adult Kids
I just love your writing. I know when it shows up in my inbox that I have something to look forward to reading.
What a lovely thing to say. Thanks for reading and letting me know you enjoy my art.
Ha! I get the first comment! “Bootsie” made me laugh out loud! I’m not a fan of “Libby,” either. What about Nana? That’s what we called my maternal grandmother and I really like it — it’s somehow warmer than Grandma, but still carries gravitas. Not a fan of the trendy names, unless it comes from a child’s mispronunciation.
Libby is sticking with Danielle’s ‘rents, her aunt, and my husband . . . we’ll see what Danielle thinks!
Love your writing too, my first grade friend. My grandparents were Nana and Papa. And I’m partial to those. I am Goko which is from the local language where we lived in Kenya.. Bob is Babu which is Swahili for Grandpa.
Love your grandma and grandpa names! If Danielle comes up with a unique name, I will just have more to write about! Thanks for reading and writing.
Since little ones often have trouble with “L’s,” you might become “Wibby”or some wonderful variation that magically defines the moment. I was set to become Grandma Suz but little voices morphed it into “Grandma Seuss” and I couldn’t love it more.
My MIL a few years after all the grands called her Grandma decided she was now going to be MiMi.. talk about confusing a 5 year old. 🤷🏼♀️
I love Libby and your writing… I can hear you talking when I read your words and even hear your laugh! When Claire was born she had three Grandmothers, three Grandfathers, two Great Grandmothers and two Great GrandFathers! Imagine! I only remember one Grandparent. Diversity in names was a must to keep them all straight. My favorite name was Gaga. It was the only name Claire coined and it later haunted her with the rise of Lady Gaga. Claire is the only student at her grade school with a brick donated by her Grandmother that says “Claire Farrow, ❤️ Gaga”. 😂🤣😂💕
Charlie being first grandchild had the privilege of naming me …..He named me Mamaw_ a cross between Mom and Grandma!! 😅
I’m Grandma. It’s what I called both of my gradmas. My kids called my mother Grandma. Tradition is comfortable.
You hit the mark again dear friend. Your posts always make me smile and most times make me choke up. You continue to entertain, educate, and inspire. Your commitment to this craft is a gift to us all.
My daughter named me Gigi meaning “great” grandma. It sounds cute coming from five year old Hazel. Seems like a lot of effort all this naming. My grandma was just that – grandma.
My Maggie started calling my Mom, “Amma”…and it stuck. So my parents were Amma and Papa and the paternal side was Grandma and Grandpa. It worked well because we knew exactly who we were referring to! When Maggie had her first baby, I asked if I could be Amma….it took her awhile to decide as she had a very strong bond with my mom and she wasn’t sure she wanted to share. So I am Amma. And I feel so lucky to carry that name forward. However, it doesn’t end there! When baby #2 came I was Amma until one day he started calling me Hei-Hei (hey-hey)….who is the crazy chicken in the movie, “Moana”. We have no idea why he decided I should be called Hei-Hei but I love it! Today I am Amma to my first grandson and Hei-Hei to my second! So it doesn’t necessarily matter what you decide to be called, there is always the chance that they will come up with something on their own!
Sandy, as always, an adorable and engaging way to really get into the topic! In our case, there was so much going on prior to meeting our new grandson, we did not have much time to think about what he might call us. (I retired from my job, we moved to Florida to become caregivers, lots of decisions and feelings about “letting go” of our former lives to accept this new role.) My daughter was hopeful that I could be called “Nana” after her dad’s mother, who was a favorite grandma in her life. But our grandson could not pronounce “Nana” — his best effort was “Ninny.” And that stuck. I didn’t care, I just wanted him to call me something and be happy to see me. After other people looked at me funny when I told them my name, I looked it up in an AARP list of popular names for grandparents, and yes, “Ninny” was on the list! So then I just felt proud that my grandson had named me and welcomed me into his life. Once our grandkids advanced into their later years, they wanted to get away from anything that sounded like “baby names” to their friends. So they re-named us Grandma and Grandpa. The adventure continues! Thanks for your blog, I look forward to it. Chris Vogelsang
Ninny! How absolutely adorable. I have no doubt that when they refer to you to their own children, their first nickname will surface again.
Oh how I enjoyed this… I’m not a grandmother, never will be a grandmother, and yet your discernment was a great ‘read’… My Starbucks’ companions looked at me each time I laughed aloud. 🙂
It means so much to me that we’re still connecting through writing. And thanks to FB, I learned you have a beautiful singing voice! Thanks for reading.
Love your stories! In my family the names for Grandmother were/are Momah,Mummsie,Grammy and Mom-Mom.
Such precious nicknames! Thanks so much for reading, Evie. We go back, don’t we!
Love your writing, Sandy! I called my grandparents “Grandma & Grandpa” and my 6 grandkids call us “Nana and PawPaw”. I was a Nanny for 2 years after retiring from a 35 year career as a flight attendant. “Nanny Dianny” morphed into “Nana” once grandchildren arrived 9 years ago.
Nanny Dianny! Priceless. Thanks for reading, Nana.
“I think Grammy’s had too much to drink to drive you to school.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. And if you knew my kids’ Grammy…..
Being a grandma is AWEsome … as your latest blogpost suggests.
Having lived through this dilemma a year and a half ago, I found this piece to really tickle my funny bone. I laughed out loud and shared with my husband who chose plain old Grandpa as his name. I too feel much too young to be called Grandma, although truth be told, I am old enough to be Gigi. I opted for Nana but realize that might change when Zaley is old enough to call me something. When we were discerning the “right” names, our kids sent us a link to a Garrison Keillor/Prairie Home Companion skit that dealt with the issue. In that skit the prospective grandparents decided on Gum-Gum and Flip-Flop. 😄 Thanks for the laughs, Sandy! I enjoy your writing so much! And congratulations on achieving the status of grand personhood !
Gotta check out that Garrison Keillor skit. I loved hearing from you. Hope you are well.
I love your grandma name & all of the possible meanings. When you pop up in my inbox I know it’s going to be a good day! Thank you for making me smile!
You are too kind. When your name pops up in my inbox, I think, what a nice colleague for my daughter!
I do love Lolly, but I love Libby even more because it is truly you.
Your picture with your sweet granddaughter is so beautiful.
Your granddaughter will come to know what an amazing woman you are, and that’s what matters most.
Enjoy every moment with her.
And keep writing….this will be the greatest gift that you can give her
(and all of us). ❤️
Thank you. After you had suggested “Lolly” after we had settled on “Libby,” I thought, darn, why didn’t I think of that? No matter. “Libby” is a placeholder until she chooses the name that suits her.
I never knew my grandparents, sadly, so I had no experience when I became a grandmother. Because Grayce had three grandmothers, I was dubbed “Grandma Wade.” But that morphed into “Grandma Egg,” because one of the first things I did with her after her first birthday was to color eggs for Easter. I’ve been Grandma Egg ever since, though now that she’s almost 18, I’m just Grandma. They say the children name their grandparents. It was a once-in-a-lifetime honor.
No wonder: You ARE a good egg! Thanks for reading and responding. Hope you are enjoying your new digs.
I come from a long line of English Nanas. As we age up the (star) chart we become, Big Nana and Big Big Nana until we receive “North Star” status. Years ago, my stepson removed my Nana status with his firstborn announcing, “Nana is a stupid name, you are going to be Grandma Thomas”. I felt demoted and generic. No wonder we have never gotten along!
For me, being a Nana honors a long line of beloved, respected family women. I can only hope that one day my grandchildren will cherish me the way my girls cherish their Nana and I cherished mine.
“Nana” is beautiful, especially when steeped in family history.