“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ” ~Dr. Seuss
“I’m a supporter of gay rights. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being… by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.” ~Paul Newman
It was really less debauchery and more Halloween. Yes, there was the guy in chaps—only chaps. And one guy had a toy and a feather cunningly accessorizing his penis. There was the one zaftig woman riding a motorcycle whose abundantly tattooed, pendulous breasts rested on the handlebars.
In general, though, the costumes were ludicrous, not lascivious. There was the requisite leather and feathers, of course, but also gentleladies in antebellum gowns with hoop skirts, rainbow painted faces, fairy wings, and Louis XIV wigs. On this day, a common man with regal aspirations could be 
a king . . . or a queen or a fairy princess.
But there were also hundreds of people in uniform: police officers, soldiers, cheerleaders, fire fighters. Most of the people in the parade, including Olympia Dukakis and Chaz Bono, were wearing ordinary street clothes.
T-shirts and signs displayed messages intended to titillate, amuse, and educate. Employees of an 
animal rescue organization carried signs of the double entendre variety:
“We have the best wieners!”
“We love pussies.”
The huge PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays) contingent carried flags declaring their loyalty:
“Gay or Str8, I don’t care. Just give me grandchildren!”
“Equal rights for my gay kid and my straight kid.”
Many folks in the audience wore message-loaded apparel:
“Some chicks marry chicks. Get over it.”
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
I expected the tone of the parade to be strident and in-your-face. Instead, it felt giddy, honest, celebratory, communal, and, well, proud. The spectators, including my family, expected exhibitionism—and we got it– but for the most part, the parade wasn’t so different from the Opening Day or Harvest Home parades. There were politicians waving from convertibles; high-profile and middle America corporations like Google, Wells Fargo, and Bank of America; floats and trucks; bands and bagpipes. Only Kiwanians in little cars were missing.
I have given a lot of thought to the name of the “Pride Parade.” I’ve never felt proud to be a heterosexual woman. Gender and sexual orientation were not qualities I aspired to, nor did I make a decision to join this “team.” I liked boys and was relieved (and horrified) when my estrogen asserted itself during puberty. Pride seems to me more of a response to an achievement, like winning a spelling bee, earning good grades, or completing a marathon.
But, then again, nobody has ever questioned or judged my heterosexuality; my sexual orientation is a cultural assumption and has never elicited shame. I understand that the participants were proud, as opposed to ashamed, but pride wasn’t the fundamental message I took away. Instead, it was freedom, for everyone. It was love thy neighbor. We are family. Love me as I am. Free to be.
One woman in the crowd wore a shirt that declared, “We’re everywhere.” The sheer number of gay people marching in the parade was staggering. Almost every profession was represented in the parade, as well as families of various configurations.
The participants were saying, “I am your police officer, your teacher, your lawyer. I will put out your fire and carry you to safety. I will defend the country we love. I drive your bus, fly your plane, and move your furniture. I love my kids and fight with my spouse. I am fat or skinny, suburban or urban, black or Latino. I am, proudly, me. And, in nearly every important way, I’m just like you.”
This atmosphere of acceptance is in stark contrast to our Cincinnati and its schools. I imagine that this parade and the overall acceptance of diversity in San Francisco provides a more nurturing environment for gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual teenagers, who are four times more likely than their peers to commit suicide.
While homosexuality is more tolerated (if not celebrated) in Cincinnati schools than during my teen years, no schools is a totally safe haven for gay students. Bullying (with the boost from the Internet) and hate crimes still threaten “different kids,” especially gay, lesbian, and transgender youth. And in schools—where “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is still the de facto policy—there is scant guidance provided for non-heterosexual pupils.
I am sorry to admit that when I was a teacher I never reached out to help a student whom I suspected was struggling with his or her sexual preference or gender identity, and I purposely avoided literature addressing this subject in my classroom. Yes, I was a coward. and I was uncomfortable and I was ignorant, but I was also like every other teacher in my school.
One of the volunteers soliciting donations for AIDS research sported a shirt that suggested, “Avoid the Rapture. 
Make a donation.” There were several churches represented in the parade that invited and celebrated all people and families. It was the day after New York legalized gay marriage, so there was much jubilation by couples who carried signs indicating their years of commitment to their partners.
My god is a loving god. I can’t imagine He/She is wringing his/her hands over people who just work hard to put food on the table, love their kids, and are loyal to their partners. With all the war and famine and violence and misunderstanding in the world, why does love offend and frighten so many people? Never has it been truer: what the world needs now is love, sweet love.
“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” ~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988
“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?” ~Ernest Gaines
“Mothers, tell your children: be quick, you must be strong. Life is full of wonder, love is never wrong. Remember how they taught you, how much of it was fear. Refuse to hand it down – the legacy stops here.” ~Melissa Etheridge, “Silent Legacy,”Yes I Am, 1993
A timely topic that has come a long way since we were young. My daughter saw a gay parade in New York and thought it was a riot with all the costumes. Sounds like a joyous event.
Great photos… thank you for sharing this..
It truly is about freedom to be who we are, whatever we are, whatever color, race, religion or creed .
Authenticity is something to be proud of and to be supported.
Wishing the world had acknowledged andapplauded this sooner.
It always amazes me how there can be such disparity of viewpoints on the question of homosexuality. Paul Newmn’s quote at the top of your piece about sums it up for me– there are so many more important things to think about than whether or not someone is gay!
Once again, I am a little behind… I loved your descriptions and your thoughtful observations. Pride Parade is an event I have always been curious about but never attended. This year, more than ever, I have a new appreciation.
This is so great, Sandra! I love the quotes you included — I see there is another reason that I love(d) Paul Newman!
Thank you, Sandy, for your beautiful writing that makes me smile and educates me.
Great writing Sandy. As a teacher I knew some children were struggling with gender identity. Those kids I watched carefully and supported them when they needed me. At Walnut Hills HS, my daughter Kate was a member of the Gay/Straight Alliance. Many of her friends were gay. It was totally accepted at Walnut. It is to bad that some school districts still shove this issue under the table.