Sandy's Lingo
Words Her Way
Archive
How did this become a thing? Here’s a list of twelve inexplicable things.
When I was a teen in the 60s, these were “things”: madras purses too small for two Kleenexes; Izod crocodiles on breast pockets; fluorescent-haired troll dolls; hip hugger jeans, white gym shoes with tan-colored stockings (held by thigh-grinding garter belts);...
She said I snore? Liar!
Me sporting what my husband calls a "no pest strip. “Hark, how hard he fetches breath.” ―William Shakespeare There are a couple reasons I keep my husband. First among them is that he keeps the secret of my snoring. When we’re in a plane, in a movie theater,...
Bedtime Stories with Mom
We are home from the doctor’s appointment, so now it is Mom’s bedtime. If it’s not mealtime or bathroom time or appointment time, it is bedtime. I help her change into her comfy pajamas, ones that are soft and stretchy, but not so slippery that she’ll slide...
When Your Friends Live on the Street, Your Street
Do not avert your eyes. It is important that you see this. It is important that you feel this. ― Kamand Kojouri Last night I was sitting by the front window in the Vine Street Skyline Chili, just me with my four-way, book, and phone. Rick was at some...
Weighing In: My Body of Work
You’ve seen it. The groom takes a piece of wedding cake and smashes it into the perfectly made up face of his bride. This is the message: Ladies will not eat unless they are force fed. Stop fast-forwarding past the commercials, and you’ll see men scarfing...
The Ghost of Christmas Past
But if my mother had been a normal mom, she would have hidden that doll better. In fairness, it couldn’t have been easy to hide a three-foot baby doll, with the size and proportions of a real child so it could be dressed in toddler clothes. But really, Mom, in...
We Don’t Talk Anymore
So, we’re on a road trip. We’ve spent five days in the car together. Fortunately, we have a Bill Bryson audiobook, and there are plenty of weather changes and road construction to lubricate our conversation. We (that would be I) decide to stop for a...
Don’t Be a Turkey: No Politics at Thanksgiving
(Maybe we should just skip Thanksgiving this year. Given the political climate, is it prudent to gather a diverse group of people around a dining table where a carving knife plays such a prominent role? And there are so many soft, creamy foods—pumpkin pie,...
Write Me In: 15 Reasons I Should Be Your President
I will never wear sleeveless outfits, not to the State of the Union Address, not to the Easter Egg Roll, not to the Fourth of July picnic. I will wear pantsuits with long jackets covering my elasticized waist bands. I will make modest, illusory, and seasonally...
My Fitbit Impressed My Friends, Cleaned My House, and Saved My Marriage
My daughter knows my aversion to movement. Really, I am a pet rock. Except for brief runs (well, walks, to be honest) to the fridge and john, I could be a wax figure in Madame Tussaud’s Museum. So it came as some surprise when I received a Fitbit from...
Sugar ‘n Spice: A Diner That’s Nice
“We make our syrup in house,” said Sugar ‘n Spice owner Steven Frankel. “Here’s the recipe: sugar, water, sugar, more sugar, some brown sugar, maple flavoring, sugar, and some more sugar. We cook it till it’s almost booze, then back it up.” My friend Teri ate...
To My Chums on National Girlfriends Day
From the Celebrate Each Day website It is National Girlfriends Day! I can’t let the day pass without honoring the precious gift of gal pals. A recent study by Stanford University revealed that the secret to a long life for a man is to be married; for a woman,...
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