Sandy's Lingo
Words Her Way
Archive
I know the secret to a long marriage. No lie!
https://www.sandylingo.com/i-know-the-secret-to-a-long-marriage-no-lie/“There must be complete honesty between spouses,” said no married woman ever.I think I believed this commandment for a brief time after I married. At least until Rick shoved the wedding...
He Can’t Find Anything
https://www.sandylingo.com/he-cant-find-anything/Though we adore men individuallyWe agree that as a group they're rather stupid.(Lyrics from "Sister Suffragette," Mary Poppins)I hand my husband a notepad and say, “Could you please (I’m pretty sure I used the...
You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you.
I was lying in bed – it may or may not have been the afternoon, I may or may not have been in my nightgown—when my husband plopped on the floor next to me and cradled our Roomba. He turned the robot vacuum over and used a screwdriver to open its backend –which...
My Husband Travels Without Me. It’s All Good.
After a week taking pictures in Glacier National Park, Rick boarded the plane in Kalispell, Montana, this morning at 6:50. At 3:00 PM he fairly skipped to my car at CVG arrivals dragging a 50-pound suitcase, a 900-pound camera bag, and a sagging backpack, but...
Serendipity, Syncronicity, Coincidence, or Random Weirdness?
“Chance. Stupid, dumb, blind chance. Just a part of the strange mechanism of the world, with its fits and coughs and starts and random collisions.” ~ Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall “It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything...
Cheese!
“Shut your mouth!” he shouted at me. It was a loving caution from my husband who knew I was about to fall over some huge obstacle on the sidewalk, a caterpillar turd or a fly fart,...
Ladies Who Would Like to Lunch
This post was inspired by real events. All names have been changed, except mine. No writer can resist the urge to make herself look clever on the page. Three retired teachers, women of a certain age (mine), are seated at a table in Applebees. “Hello. My name...
Of Influenza, Tamiflu, and Nose Hairs
When you go to the doctors' office at 7:30 in the morning, and you say you have the flu, you get a pink mask. And for a doctor, you get who you get which is okay, because I just want a prescription, and any old MD will do. I first have to tell the officious...
Do these chopsticks make me look fat?
The sight of Mt. Fuji filled me with dread. It was going to be another fat-shaming experience in the Land of the Rising Sun and the Small Bottoms. ‘ My husband pretended not to notice that, with the exception of Sumo wrestlers, I was the...
Iceland: Land of Fire, Ice, and the $18 Toothbrush
Musings of a Viking/Wiking Wannabe I admit, most Americans don’t often think of Iceland as a vacation destination, but now that Iceland’s WOW Airline is servicing Cincinnati's airport and advertising $99 tickets, I expect travel north, far north, will become...
School’s Out Forever: Reflections of a Retired Teacher
Teaching years are like dog years. I taught for 196 years.Conversely, retirement years speed by like a guppy’s lifespan. I have been retired since Spring 2010, and while it doesn’t feel like yesterday, it doesn’t seem possible that I’ve been going to sleep for...
I Cured My Migraine at the Car Wash
I don’t get migraines very often anymore, now that my ovaries are the size of Tic Tacs. But sometimes, a confluence of circumstances—my husband, heat, bright light, my husband, stress, lack of sleep, my husband—will bring on the spots before my eyes that...
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