Sandy's Lingo
Words Her Way
Archive
Why I Dyed My Hair During the Pandemic
I probably should have been stockpiling face masks, latex gloves, toilet paper, and bourbon, but instead I was combing the CVS aisles for hair dye. I grabbed two boxes of Loreal, because I’m “worth it,” as their advertising slogan proclaims. That was 24 days ago....
Encyclopedias: A Bygone Time From A-Z
It’s an expression: “I couldn’t give it away.” That summer day in 2007, I couldn’t give our encyclopedia set away. The kids had moved out, and now we were moving out, trading the big five-bedroom house for 1200 square feet in a city high rise. There would be no room...
Fun and Games Saved Our Marriage
We were at a beautiful resort in Cancun, and I was furious with my husband, Rick. Based on my vast experience as a married woman, I can say with some assurance that it’s no less miserable to be in that angry space at the beach than in your laundry room or at the...
Enough, Already
My dentist tapped the ouchy spot to punctuate her statement: “We need to replace that crown. You’ve had it since 1999, and they usually only last 10 to 12 years.” And I thought, Oh, good. Then this will be the last time I have to replace this crown. Yes, I would...
Pro-Life Birth in Norway: A Grandma’s Perspective
As I reached for the phone, I glanced at the clock. It was 5:00 AM. This can’t be good, I thought. “Hello?” I croaked. The answer was unintelligible screaming. I only made out one word: “Mooooom!” You know how kids make “Mom” a four-syllable word when they want...
How Should a House Smell?
“The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.” ~ Neil Gaiman, American Gods My husband tilted his head, trying to discern what the droning was. It sounded like a plane taking off. Or a paper...
I Danced With the Maasai in Africa
For the week before I met Sheila, I’d seen Maasai women from a distance, tending to their children or plastering their homes with mud and dung. I had seen hundreds of tall, lean Maasai men walking by the side of Tanzanian roads. They wore the traditional red shuka and...
My Grandma Name . . . and the winner is . . .
“I don’t know what my grandma name should be,” my friend Barb said to me over coffee years ago. Mind you, her daughter was only six months pregnant at that point, but Barb was about to be a grandma for the first time, and she was taking her new role seriously. “You...
Downtown Grocers
I have lived in downtown Cincinnati for nine years. As soon as people learn where I live, they almost always ask, “Where do you go to get groceries?” Ask my neighbors, and they will say this is almost always the first question people ask them, too. Until today. We...
How Facebook Almost Ruined My Trip to Morocco
Our Moroccan guide, Zak, confirmed the setting of the sun with an i-phone app, then took a long drink. “This is the best sip of water you will ever have,” he said, grinning. Our guide couldn’t eat or drink all day because it was Ramadan, the month when Muslims...
Reading Babies’ Cries
She was such a little thing, my granddaughter. Just a few weeks old. Back then, we were still worried that she wasn’t eating well. (We joked that this was evidence she was adopted, because we Lingos know how to eat!) Danielle had been going to the...
“Parenting is Like Sex” and Fifteen Other Graduation Speeches I’ve Never Given
Graduation speeches range from the ridiculous to the sublime.There’s this advice from actress Katie Holmes: “Don’t use a fake ID to buy wine and then try to pay with a check.”And this from Cindi Lauper: “Life is going to give you a bad turn…It’s...
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